• "Anyone with an odd number of gangway trips ain't right in the head."
• "I learn something new every day and it's starting to piss me off."
• "Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you start in on them you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 
• "Every day it becomes more obvious that I would be a lot better off if I had listened to my mother." 
• "Red sky at night, sailor's delight ; but it don't take much to please a sailor."
• "Most every job is easier and goes faster with two people unless, of course, they are married."
• "I know it is a small world but I'd still hate to paint it!"
• "This job isn't exciting if you do it right."
• "I never learned nothing while I was talking."
• "You wouldn't worry so much about what people think about you if you knew how little they did."
• "Bigger fools than you are doing this every day."
• "Half the chief mates I've worked for are below avarage."
• "A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory."
• "The second mouse get the cheese."
• "Always borrow money from a pessimist, They don't expect it back."
• "For every action there is an equal and opposite amount of criticism."
• "No one listens until you make a mistake."
• "Love is blind but marrage is a real eye-opener."
• "Sometimes it is easier to change people than to change people."

Up coming tales. (Lies?)